Silent running
by draiochta
Summary: Basically Love will tear us apart but from Jacob s POV. What are his reasons for wanting Bella so much? Why does he push his imprint away?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys. New story! From Jacob`s POV and companion to Love will tear us apart. Really hope you like. So lets see. Happy reading.**

"Seriously dude. I really think you should get over her. Have you ever thought about dating other girls?"

"How about you Quil? I mean, you have to wait another what? Fourteen years until Claire is old enough for you." I countered.

God I was sick to death of these conversations. Why couldn`t these guys just let it go? I mean...Bella was the only girl for me. I loved her. She even admitted she loved me too! She`ll come to her senses.

"Claire is my imprint Jake. I don`t mind waiting for her. I don`t care. I not even thinking about dating anymore. I can`t see any other girl that way." He argued, looking a bit pissed. He was right. Imprinting was different. It was a fucking nightmare if you asked me. Who would want that? What was so wrong falling in love the old fashioned way?

"I can`t see any other girl besides Bella."

"Bullshit! You are afraid to look any of the girls at school in the eye in case you imprint. You check out their butts and racks though and don`t fucking deny it."

"That`s different."

"I just don`t get what`s so special about her Jake. I mean, she`s good looking and all but... she`s dating a goddamn leech." Quil shuddered and looked grossed out. It was gross. How could she choose him? How could she even kiss him?

"Just leave it Quil!" I snapped, having enough of it.

"I won`t! When you think of it we have to fucking listen to it, to see it! She`s not going to choose..." Before he could finish I shoved him violently, sending him crashing into the side of the school wall, catching him totally off guard. He looked like he wanted to kill me. Brushing himself off he stalked towards me, getting right in my face. Readying myself for a fight I squared off with him.

"I`ve had it with you Jake. Your shit. Bella pisses all over you and you take it out on the rest of us? Get a life you fucked up loser." He pushed past me and headed into the school building. Eurgh Quil! Now I felt guilty. He was one of my best friends after all. Fuck sake!

"Hey Jacob!" Nooooooo not her again!

"Hi Ciara." I said unenthusiastically, turning to face her. Sure she was pretty but... her perfume was way too much, reminded me too much of leech smell. She was looking up at me expectantly.

"So...what`s new?" She smiled up at me.

"Nothing much." I said as I started towards the main door. Of course she had to follow me.

"Wait up Jacob!" She pulled at my t-shirt to make me stop. I could hear two girls sniggering behind us. I saw the backs of Bernie Littlefoot and Sonia Mara as they walked by us and into the school. 'How much you wanna bet he catches something from her?' Sonia asked Bernie, before they both laughed loudly. Eurgh!

"What Ciara?" I snapped. I saw her face fall and then harden with the sting of my rejection.

"Nothing! Gosh Jacob. You are such a grump." She said before flouncing away.

Glad to have shaken her off I made my way into the school and to my locker. I so didn`t want to be here. What was the point of still going to high school when I was going to end up just doing the same thing I was doing now?

"Jake dude." Paul greeted me. "You escaped Ciara`s clutches. Good thing. She`s a crap lay."

"Do you want me to tell Rachel that?" I grumbled. Why the fuck did he have to imprint on my sister? Life is one big cruel joke sometimes.

"Don`t be like that! There are way hotter chicks here than Ciara and Bella put together. You just have to open your eyes and take a look." He coaxed.

"I don`t care Paul!"

"Christ you need to get laid. Seriously. Blue balls is no laughing matter. You`ll feel better. You need to perfect your skills somewhere. You will die a virgin if you keep on waiting for Bella."

"Can it Paul..." I trailed off. Paul and I turned our heads in the same direction and down the hall a little.

Ciara Harris and her little gang were squaring off with Bernie Littlefoot just outside the girls bathrooms.

"Fucking take that back!" Bernie whispered dangerously. Ciara laughed.

"You know...there are cheaper places to shop than the thrift store...maybe your dad could spend more money on his booze that way."

"I said shut it." Bernie growled, getting right in Ciara`s face. At this stage Sonia had come out of the bathroom with a face like thunder. Standing beside her friend she looked like she was readying herself for a fight.

"And so it begins." Mumbled Paul. He used to hang out with Bernie and Sonia before he phased.

"It musn`t be easy having a scum bag alcoholic for a dad. I`m so sorry for..."

And it began. Bernie punched Ciara right in the cheek with a really good left hook. I sighed and left them to it. I was so over this high school bullshit. I had bigger things to think about. Hearing the bell ring I left Paul to watch the fight and headed towards Biology. I wanted to be out of here. In wolf form. I just wanted to be left alone to my thoughts. I wanted to figure out how to solve my Bella situation.

I spotted Quil over at his lab desk. He didn`t look at me once and was staring with an angry look at the whiteboard. I sighed. I needed to apologize to him later. I opened my text book and drew little wolves in the margin. My mind kept on wandering back to Bella. Her big brown eyes...so beautiful and innocent, like a fawns. She was so fair too, like a fragile snowdrop. She was my perfect woman. So different than what I was used to here. Why couldn`t I have imprinted on her. Then everything would be perfect. She would have to forget about that stupid leech then!

"Jake! You`re needed!" Paul said, bounding into the classroom. He turned to Ms. Nicks apologetically. "Mr. Reeves needs Jacob for something." Paul told her.

"Fine. Jacob you`re excused." Ms. Nicks told me. I sighed and followed Paul out of the classroom.

"What`s up?"

"Reeves is totally blaming Bernie for the fight. If you heard what started it then hopefully her and Sonia won`t be in too much trouble."

"Whatever help I can be of." I said, totally bored. At least it got me out of Biology for a while.

We rounded the corner and walked towards the little group. Ciara was holding the side of her face and her hair was a mess. Bernie looked murderous and Sonia was leaning against the lockers looking at her boots.

"Mr. Black, can you please put an end to all this nonsense and tell me what happened or what you heard that started this fight." Mr. Reeves looked at me hopefully. He was trying to get Ciara off the hook. I smiled inwardly. No way was I going to let that happen. Maybe then it would put an end to her ideas about me.

"I heard, as did Paul, Ciara call Bernie`s dad an alcoholic who`s too broke to buy clothes for his kids or some shit like that." I said evenly.

"LIAR!" Ciara screamed at me. I heard Sonia try and stop a snort of laughter.

"Well..then. There is the matter of who threw the first punch." Mr. Reeves said. The guy was obviously still trying to find a way to blame Bernie for the whole thing. It wasn`t her fault. I would have done the same thing if I were her.

"I threw it. No matter denying it." Bernie said.

"Suspension." Mr. Reeves said a bit joyfully. "And you Miss Harris. I`m afraid I`m going to have to give you a weeks worth of detention for what you said." Just detention? If anyone deserved suspension it was her. Oh well.

"That`s not fair!" Sonia shouted at Mr. Reeves, she sounded furious.

"I haven`t forgotten you Sonia. Two days suspension for taking part in the attack." Mr. Reeves turned his wrath on her. "Both of you come with me to my office so I can call your parents. And no more lip Sonia or you`ll have a couple more days at home as well."

"Unbelievable." Paul muttered to me. I looked in sympathy at Sonia now. She so didn`t deserve this shit. She was just sticking up for her friend.

Then it happened. With one glance. One little look into her eyes and my world as I knew it came crashing down around me and rebuilt itself again, around her. Those dark brown, almost black eyes held mine with such an intensity that I lost myself in her. Such beauty...It was indescribable. Her soul...her heart...her...she sang to me and it was the most heavenly tune I had ever heard in my entire life. She was mine...mine...and I was hers.

Fuck! I was never going to be the same again. I kept on looking, kept on searching those eyes. Sonia...my soul mate. My imprint. Whoever saw that coming? I sure as hell didn`t.

I was broken out of my initial imprinting shock by a sharp nudge in the ribs. Who in their right mind would be stupid enough to try and break me out of his glorious moment?

"Jake? Dude?" Paul`s voice sounded far off...distant...like he was calling me from the other end of a tunnel. But it did the trick. It brought me back to reality a little. I hesitantly broke away from those beautiful eyes and looked at Paul.

Oh man...the reality of what had just happened hit me like a full speed train. I had imprinted! Oh Sonia freakin Mara! Oh my God...

I loved Bella though...Guilt and anger battled it out inside of me for dominance. NO! NO! This is going to fuck everything up. She is going to ruin everything! Bella...I was so close...

But it felt like that didn`t really matter any more. I had Sonia...NO! I LOVE BELLA! Sonia, Sonia fucking Mara! Of all the girls it had to be her didn`t it? My life must be one cruel sick joke. Sure, Sonia was pretty, she was beautiful actually, but...but what? She wasn`t what I wanted in a woman. Bella was everything I could ever want or dream about. Bella was wholesome, she was an angel. So feminine, so ladylike. Smart and beautiful. Sonia was...Sonia. She kept to herself with her little gang of misfits and stoners. She was trouble. Plus...she was a slut if the rumors were to be believed.

I felt a sudden rage build up inside of me, my wolf screaming to be released at the thoughts of someone else touching her. She was mine! Oh crap I sound like a crazy lunatic!

I knew what I had to do. I need to break this! She had to hate me, to reject me, then I would be free of this curse and so would she. Crap! Could I really handle it if she really did hate me? What if I hurt her? I`d never forgive myself. The thoughts of hurting her emotionally...screw that! If there`s one part of my shitty life I`m going to control it was my love life! I want to actually choose the woman I`m going to spend my life with. Not get stuck with one! I steadied my nerves.

I made eye contact with her again. Forcing myself to fight against the urge to drop to my knees in front of her and bask in her beauty. Instead, I channelled all of my anger, all of my bitterness at her. Feeling a strange sense of satisfaction at the look of confusion on her face as I turned to leave.

She was the last fucking straw in my shitty fucked up life. I didn`t want her! No fucking way! It actually hurt walking away from her...now...now that I was so...aware of her. Shit...it hurt cause...I hurt her...how could I turn away from her? How could I deny what had just happened? What I had just felt? It had left me so changed that I didn`t want to leave her side. Steady yourself Jacob! Keep in mind what you really want. It`s Bella. The girl of your dreams.

**Remember to review. I want to know if I should continue on with this. Besos.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two: Hoping you guys are liking this. It is so difficult writing from Jacob`s POV but I am doing my best. You need to know why he does what he does. I am totally team Jacob and everyone knows that people have flaws. So here`s what happened next. Thanks so much for reviewing to the first chapter. You guys are great. Happy reading.**

After...after that I skipped out on school. I didn`t want to phase. I didn`t want the others to know yet. They would all make such a big deal out of it. Shit...why can`t I stop thinking about her? Oh man...Sonia... I felt horrible being away from her. I felt so guilty. Not just for being mean to her, but for dragging her into this mess. She was innocent. She didn`t seek me out looking for any of this to happen to her. It was not her fault I didn`t want her. What if she didn`t want me?

The thoughts of that made me stop in my tracks with some undefined emotion. Why was I so sure she would want me in the first place? I mean...I knew I was hot now because of the phasing. I was grown, muscular. The other girls at school noticed...but not her. I didn`t think so anyway. Maybe she didn`t even feel the imprint?

Bullshit of course she felt it Jacob! It`s a two way thing. She would be feeling it now. She would be confused. It had been set in motion. I had to stay away from her. I had to! I couldn`t let it get out of hand! If she hated me then she would stay away from me. Crap! I don`t want her to hate me but I do. SHIT SHIT SHIT! I ran threw the woods and punched a tree. I felt so agitated that I knew I would phase at any minute.

Think calming thoughts. Think about Bella. I couldn`t bring her face to mind as easily as I could before. Sonia`s face taunted me, daring me to try and forget about her. She was so beautiful. Even before I phased I thought she was. But she was always so...unapproachable. It shamed me to say it but I did look down on her and her friends before I phased. They came from the poorest or the most troubled families on the rez. I suppose they stuck with each other as a form of support. They were the ones that were picked on during grade school and middle school. Now...they were sort of feared and envied. They were the cool ones, they were the ones who didn`t have to conform. They were the ones who had the freedom to be who they wanted. I remembered doing a project with her back in the ninth grade. She had been nothing but nice then. I remembered thinking she had a pretty smile. Maybe we could have been friends? No... we didn`t run in the same groups. That saddened me.

My imprint. I want her to be happy. I couldn`t make her happy though. Not when my heart belonged to another. If she didn`t know about it...then she would be kept out of harms way. What if she left the rez? That thought filled me with panic. We couldn`t be away from each other. It would be painful.

My selfish desire to be near her conflicted with my desire to keep her out of this mess. Out of harms way. Was I fighting a losing battle? I knew from Sam`s, Jared`s, Paul`s and Quil`s expierences that it was impossible to fight the imprint. Maybe I could though? If I made her hate me then I would have to respect her wishes. I would have to stay away from her then. It would be better for her and it would be better for me too.

Oh Christ why? Why? I was nearing my house. I knew I would have to explain to my dad why I was out of school early. I also knew I would have to tell him what had happened. He would be delighted of course. He was getting pretty annoyed with me. He was constantly telling me to man up and just forget about Bella. That she was no good for me. That she was using me and I was a fool for letting her. I knew I was a fool. If I acted like an idiot it was because I wanted her to stay human. Was it idiotic to love someone? I couldn`t handle it if she became one of them. A vampire Bella...that thought was too painful.

"Jacob!" Too lost in thought I didn`t even hear Embry run after me.

"Jake wait up! Did you imprint? What the fuck happened?" I slowed down and let him catch up to me. His smile faltered when he saw my face. "What`s up?"

"Yeah I...I imprinted." I told him. He frowned.

"And you`re not happy? Christ Jake! Sonia is hot! You`re so lucky." He said wistfully. I got angry.

"Don`t fucking talk about her that way!" I snarled, pushing him. He looked perplexed.

"Already getting possessive eh?" He smiled knowingly.

"Shut up!" I turned and headed towards my house with a renewed vigor.

"Come on Jake! Aren`t you happy?" He asked.

"No!"

"What?"

"I love Bella Embry! I don`t want...I don`t want Sonia!"

"You are not serious?" Embry asked, incredulous. I didn`t answer him. "Oh my God you are! Jake...you have an imprint now. How could you still want Bella?"

"I love Bella."

"I keep hearing that but I don`t believe you. You are in love with the idea of her. You have found your soul mate man! You have a chance to be happy for once."

"I don`t want her to get messed up in this. I don`t know if she even likes me."

"She will now. You know she can`t resist the imprint."

"I don`t want her."

"You will Jake. Do you really think you will stand by and let someone else have her?" I stopped at his words. I knew he was telling the truth but I would deal with that later. When the time comes.

"If she chooses someone else than yes." I lied.

"You`re an idiot." He stated, still following me.

"I`m protecting her."

"You`re protecting no one but yourself. You`ll just end up hurting her."

"I don`t care."

"Oh my God you are such a tool. You know that you won`t be able to stay away from her."

"I can. I`m going to."

Embry followed me all the way back to my house. When my dad started questioning me about why I was home so early I just ignored him and shut myself away in my room. I left Embry to explain what had happened. I could hear them talking away. My dad of course was delighted. The day he had been waiting for had come. Even though Bella was his best friends daughter he had a thing against her. He didn`t trust her. He had said she was too like her mother. Selfish, manipulative, grasping. Even though I hated to admit it I knew he was right to an extent.

He began to question Embry about my imprint. To my surprise he knew a lot about her. She did ballet. She used to do gymnastics. She was on the soccer team. People thought she was a wild child but she was pretty decent. Just misunderstood.

I got jealous then. Jealous that Embry knew so much about her. Did he have a crush on her or something? Racking my memory I couldn`t find any time where he thought about her that way. But Embry was watchful. He noticed things about other people that others usually missed out on.

Feeling like I was going crazy I got off my bed and went and joined them in the kitchen. My dad was practically beaming at me. I hadn`t seen him look that happy in ages.

"This is a very proud moment for me Jacob." He said.

"It`s not like I`m marrying her dad!" I said a bit too sarcastically.

"In a couple of years yes." Smiling, he wheeled over to me and grasped my upper arm.

"I know she`ll make you happy. You deserve it Jacob. You deserve nothing less than the best!" He was using his serious voice. I knew he was concerned about me. He told me I was torturing myself with Bella. Which was true in a way.

"Listen to your dad Jake. He knows what he`s talking about."

"Thanks Embry!" My dad laughed. Rolling my eyes I went and stood at the back door.

"You should call her. See if she`s home okay. I heard she got suspended." Embry said, opening a soda.

"Suspended? For what?" Dad asked.

"Fighting. My imprint gets into trouble a lot dad. You don`t see Bella doing that." I said nastily. Embry snorted and my dad looked angry.

"Does Sonia have an unnatural obsession with vampires Jacob? Somehow I bet she doesn`t. She is a Quileute. She was chosen for you and you for her! Just realize that before you fuck everything up for yourself!" My dad yelled before wheeling off into the living room muttering to himself.

"Call her Jake. I know you want to. Just to see if she`s okay." Embry said calmly.

"No."

"Fine. I`ll do it. She is the newest member of the pack after all. Gotta look out for her, since her imprinter doesn`t give a shit."

I watched as Embry picked up my phone and...paused.

"Where`s your phonebook?" He asked. "I don`t know her number."

"Fuck off Embry."

"Christ you are such a wuss." He fished his mobile out of his pocket. "Hey mom...do you have the Mara`s number? Yeah? Cool. What is it?" Holding his mobile to his ear he dialed the number into my house phone. "Thanks mom. Yeah. Love you too. Bye."

"You are so getting your ass kicked." I warned him. He shrugged and put his finger to his lips in order to get me to stop talking.

"Shut up! It`s ringing." I felt my heart race a little faster. As much as I willed it to stop it wouldn`t. A big part of me wanted to hear her voice.

"Hello." An older woman`s voice answered.

"Hello? Mrs. Mara? Hi. This is Embry Call. I was wondering if Sonia is home?"

"No. She isn`t yet. Embry Call is it?" She asked a little enthusiastically.

"Yeah."

"I`ll get her to call you when she gets home."

"Oh no worries Mrs. Mara. I can talk to her another time."

"If you are sure?"

"I am. Thanks."

"Okay Embry bye bye."

"Bye."

He hung up smiling.

"Wasn`t so hard now was it?" He asked grinning.

"Please Embry...just leave me be okay?" I pleaded. His expression turned serious.

"Jake. You are my best friend. I want to see you happy is all. You should be happy!"

"How can I be?" I asked. "I can`t be. Not with Sonia."

"You don`t even know her! You won`t even give her a shot!"

"How do you know she`ll give me one?" I asked, suddenly feeling so vulnerable. I didn`t deserve this girl. I didn`t know if she could make me happy, or if I could make her happy.

"You are destined for each other. How can you even say that?"

"You know you sound like such a pansy?"

"Who cares Jake? Just...listen to your dad. Don`t fuck things up because in the end. You know you will end up wanting her...falling in love with her."

"I`m not going to let that happen."

"We`ll see."

After Embry had left my dad was in no mood to talk to me. I sat moodily in the kitchen. Willing myself not to try and seek out Sonia`s voice with my super hearing. Was she home safe? Was she okay? How was she feeling? How does she feel about me? Now? After what had happened? Oh man! When did I lose my balls? I used to laugh at the others. How they were so concerned about their imprints. But now...now I understood. Finding that someone...that one girl...it was scary as fuck not knowing if she was okay. If she was feeling happy and safe.

I kept on looking over at the phone. Should I call her? I wanted to which was crazy. Don`t be stupid Jacob! She won`t want to talk to you! Why would she? Arrghhhh!

Before I knew what I was doing I had the receiver held up to my ear and I was pressing redial. Oh crap! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!

"Hello?" Her lovely voice greeted me, calming me, making me...utterly speechless. I just stood there like a dumb idiot with my mouth hung open.

"Hello?" She said again. This time with a hint of confusion in her voice. What the fuck was I doing? Calling her and not saying anything like some weirdo stalker. I wanted so bad to say something. Anything! But I couldn`t find the words...I didn`t know what to say to her. 'Hello. I`m Jacob Black. A guy you went to school with all your life. By the way I`m a shape shifter wolf who kills vampires. And guess what? We`re soul mates. Isn`t that great?' Yeah right. She would get a restraining order against me. Like that would stop me...

"I`m hanging up now." She said. No! NO! Just you talk into the phone Sonia. I`ll listen to you. I just want to hear your voice. Completely panicking I hung up first.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit! Why did I do that? Why did I call her? I needed to. I wanted to. I wanted to see her! I almost jumped out of my skin as the phone started ringing again. It was her. I knew it was! I couldn`t answer it. She would know it was me.

"DAD!" I yelled urgently. He wheeled into the kitchen looking perplexed.

"Why aren`t you answering the phone?"

"You answer it! And I`m not here got it? I`m not here!" I must have sounded like a maniac as my dad slowly nodded his head and picked up the receiver.

"Hello." Dad answered normally.

"Hello. I got a silent call from this number." Sonia... she sounded so shy. My dad gave me one of his looks and shook his head.

"A silent call? Who am I speaking to?" He asked.

"Sonia Mara." My dad smiled at me this time.

"I`m Billy Black. Jake must have called you." I tugged at my hair in fury. Shit dad! Why did you have to say that! Christ old man...

"Oh..hello Mr. Black. I uh..." Now she sounds so dumbfounded. Why did I have to call her?

"I would put you on to Jacob but he has just left." My dad used his soft tone with her. Thank you dad...but if you`d had said I was here you will be dead by now.

"That`s okay. Em...well...bye." No! I wanted to hear her voice some more.

"Goodbye Sonia. Feel free to stop by and see Jake any time you want." Don`t say that dad! Urghhhh!

"Yeah...sure...Bye Mr. Black." She said politely.

"Billy." He corrected her. There was no way he was going to let this go now. He would be getting her to call him dad next.

"Excuse me?"

"You can call me Billy."

"Oh..okay..bye Billy." She laughed a little which sounded so sweet. I felt my heart melt a little then harden again as I thought of Bella.

"Goodnight Sonia." My dad said smiling and hanging up. He didn`t look at me or say anything for a long time. He seemed lost in thought.

"Jacob. Don`t start playing stupid games with her. That girl has had a hard enough life as it is."

"I`m not playing games dad. I just...I don`t know what to do."

"Follow your heart son. Listen to what it`s telling you."

"If it`s saying I want Bella?"

"Then be pretty damn sure that she is who you want."

"I am sure."

"No you`re not...I know you too well. Remember what I said Jacob and listen to me... don`t hurt that girl. You might think you are doing the right thing but...you`re young, the choices you make now will effect your whole life. Don`t be so sure as to what you want now. Things change...feelings change. You might think Bella is the love of your life but what happened today put a lie to that. Don`t throw Sonia away now because you will...believe me you will regret it later."

**remember to review. It lets me know if you are liking this. Besos.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three. Hope you enjoy. No Sonia interaction just yet but I hope this will explain a bit more about Jacob and what I imagine his relationship with his pack mates are. Happy reading and thanks so much for the reviews. You guys are so nice and great. **

Okay so...yeah. Staying away from Sonia was more difficult than I thought it would be. I promised myself that I wouldn`t go to her house and pull an Edward by sneaking into her room and watching her sleep or anything weird like that. I didn`t go that far. I just hid out in the woods behind her house in wolf form. Listening to her talk to her mom or nana. The more I saw of her the more I wanted to know. I knew I wouldn`t be content with just catching glimpses of her whenever she passed a window or went out back. I needed more...but I was too chicken to approach her. She would literally scream wolf if she saw me come near her.

I loved her...it seemed like it had always been there...lying dormant with my wolf and awoken in a flash of violence and metamorphosis. She changed me...I don`t know how but she did. Then there was Bella. My feelings...my love for her was still too raw...too open. I loved her the same. I wanted her the same as I did but there was the other girl...my imprint. A girl that would never go away. A girl I was bound to for life. She was my gaoler and my prison. Did I even long for escape?

"Jake please stop whining and do something about it!" Jared huffed, annoyed. He gave me the mental finger and went on thinking about Kim and how beautiful she was pregnant. I let my mind wander back to Sonia. I could imagine her pregnant with my child...I could imagine making that child with her... Having her underneath me... moaning at what I was doing to her...

"And so it begins." Paul`s drawl echoed out loudest in the pack mind. "Looks like we have another Jared on our hands. Better nip it in the bud now."

I could hear the others start to laugh. Couldn`t any thoughts remain private? Eurghhh!

"If Sonia found out you were spying on her you can forget your chances of getting into her panties." Paul informed me.

"Shut up Paul!" I growled, taking one last look at Sonia eating a yogurt and staring obsessively at the calendar on the kitchen wall before turning away and heading for patrol.

What was up with that? The staring at the calendar and clocks? Counting with her fingers too. I heard Paul try and stopper something he knew about her...something about numbers. Embry picked that up too. He was in the same maths class as her. The dumb class as it`s known.

"Hey shut up Jake! You`re dumber than I am!" He shouted.

"Yeah yeah yeah. So...what`s the deal with her? Is she as dumb as you?" I asked, pretending not to care.

"She has number dyslexia or something." Embry said.

What`s that? Maybe I could help her or something...

"I wouldn`t even suggest that Jake." Paul warned. "Last I remembered she was a bit prickly about it. Wait until you get to know her better." He advised.

"There will be no getting to know her better. I don`t want her."

"Ha! You were thinking about getting her pregnant a minute ago!" Jared laughed. I didn`t have any reply for that.

"Whatever Jake. It`s your life. Feel free to fuck it up as much as you like." He went on. "Just don`t cry over it when Sonia actually does end up hating your guts and Bella is a vamp."

"Don`t be so hard on him Jared." Shit. Leah now. Eurghhhh! "It`s not as if he knows how to actually talk to women. I mean real women...not the ones who find the whole leech lifestyle attractive."

"You should know Leah." I snarled at her. "Since you`ve gone all butch lesbian. Maybe you could give me a few pointers." I could feel her getting angry.

"You can say what you like Jacob. But you know something? A girl like Sonia Mara... she`s no Bella. Treat her like crap and believe me she will hate you. She won`t forgive you when you realize you`ve made a mistake."

"You know something Leah? Maybe that`s why you hate Sam so much? He didn`t love you enough to fight for you."

Even as the words left my mouth I knew I had made a horrible mistake. Those who were phased winced and stopped whatever else they were doing. We could all feel a black fury, like a storm, coming from Leah. It was scary a little. We couldn`t even hear what she was thinking!

"You may think that Jacob. But Sam is a million times the man you could ever even hope to be. A man accepts who he is and what he has to do. If that means giving up somebody else...then..."

"Listen Leah...I`m sorry.."

"Shove your apologies up your ass Black! I hope now Sonia won`t even give you the time of day." She must have phased back to human because we couldn`t hear her anymore.

"Nice going Jake! Sam is going to fucking kill you, you know that right?" Embry asked.

"Yeah...I know. It`s just that Leah..."

"Leah is Leah. Just leave her be." Jared advised. Kim had made him promise to be nicer to Leah. And whatever Kim wanted...

"Kim gets." Jared said in a warning tone. "What exactly do you have against her Jake?" Jared accused in that calm scary way of his.

"I don`t have a problem with her Jared!"

"Spit it out!" He growled. Thank God he was miles away from me. "It`s about the whole writing my name in her diary thing isn`t it?"

"Well it was kinda funny." I defended. Or pathetic, I couldn`t help but think. Jared`s thoughts blacked out for a moment, but he controlled himself.

"You`re the pathetic one. The way you go on about Bella is fucking weak! The fucking two of you are... You make Bella out to be the coolest, most special girl in the world when the reality is is that she is going out with a fucking vampire! She chose one of them over you! And you call my Kim pathetic for writing my name in her diary? A perfectly normal teenage thing to do."

"I`m sorry Jared." I mumbled. Shit! I was sorry. Kim is so nice.

"Kim is nice. She`s normal. Oh yeah... if you or Bella call her plain again you`re gonna get your ass kicked."

"Kim isn`t plain." Collin pipped in. I almost forgot he was here. He remembered when she used to babysit him. He had a little crush on her from before he wolfed out. Now I was feeling so guilty.

"You should. You are even more superficial than Bella is. You know what? Yeah, Sonia is beautiful. More beautiful than Bella. But that is not what matters. What matters is is that she is a human being. She has things going on in her life, she actually has interests and is interesting but all you can think about is is how she`s not good enough."

"That`s not true!"

"You are self hating Jacob! You think all of this is beneath you. You think Sonia is beneath you."

"Bullshit!" I yelled at Jared.

"You want your fucking china doll! You want your white skinned princess. You fucking wouldn`t even look at the other girls on the rez because they didn`t fit what you think is beautiful. Sonia is a Quileute. Pure and simple. She is your imprint. You don`t want her because she is native."

"Listen Jared! You are really pushing it! Fucking calling me a racist!"

"With your attitude, who can blame me?"

"ENOUGH!" The voice of the Alpha made the whole pack come to a halt and submit. Shit! When did he phase in? "NO MORE!" I fell flat on the ground under the weight of Sam`s order. I could feel Jared do it as well, although he was still muttering furious treats to me.

"We are a pack. We are brothers. You will stop this now." Sam said in a low threatening voice.

"Understood." Jared said, picking himself up.

"Understood." I said, getting up on shaky legs.

"Jared. You can phase out. Kim was feeling a little ill over at mine." Sam informed him. We call felt Jared`s panic as he ran full speed over to Sam`s place. Now I really felt guilty. I had nothing against Kim. She had always been nothing but nice to me and to Bella. To everyone. And Jared loved her with all that he was, and she loved him. She accepted him.

"First Quil, then Leah and now Jared. You have a lot of making up to do Jake." Sam said gruffly. He was pissed at what I had said to Leah most of all. He still loved her.

"I`m sorry."

"Don`t say sorry to me." He snapped. "When are you going to talk to Sonia and tell her?" He asked.

"I`m not telling her!"

"You are! There is no way you are getting out of this Jacob. It`s for life! Sonia is your mate!"

"I`m not a dog!"

"Stop twisting my words! She deserves to know. The longer you leave it the harder it will be. Plus...I think her grandma knows."

"How would she know?" Paul asked, interested.

"She is Levi Uley`s daughter. My granddads sister. If he knew then she would know."

"Shit man. Do you think she will tell Sonia?" Paul asked.

"No. I think she is suspicious though, with Embry calling her up and then Jake calling up and saying nothing.." Paul laughed mockingly at this, even Sam couldn`t contain a little snigger.

"Shit." I grumbled. If her nana knew then...there was no way I could get out of not telling Sonia myself.

"Exactly Jake. Talk to her. Get to know her a little. You might like what you find." Sam suggested, gently this time. I could hear his thoughts behind what he was telling me. He was happy that I had imprinted. He was sick of having Bella around, he didn`t want anymore contact with the leeches. No more than was needed.

"Tomorrow...when she comes back to school." I said. To be honest, I wanted to see what she was really like. With her friends, with people around her. I needed to be close to her. Did she feel the same way as me?

"Of course she is feeling it. It will confusing the hell out of her but...you know she will want to see you too." Sam said. "Go home now too Jake. It`s a school day tomorrow."

"I`m off." Maybe I could stop by Sonia`s again? See what she was up to.

"Stalker!" Paul and Embry said in unison. Those who were phased laughed but their voices got dimmer as I got to Sonia`s place. I could see the light on in what I had learned was her bedroom.

The little window was partially open and the sheer dark blue curtains were open. Yessss! God I am so fucked up! I could see her standing in front of her mirror in a t-shirt and panties, pinching the backs of her thighs. What the fuck was she doing? What legs though... long, smooth, a dark golden brown...so shapely...strong legs. You could see that she was active. I wanted those legs wrapped around my waist...

"Fucking cellulite." She muttered to herself before stopping and slipping on a pair of bottoms. She approached the window and opened it a little more. Popping her head out of it she took out a joint. Oh...okay...she liked smoking that then...why not? It wasn`t as if I had never tired it myself.

I let myself have a proper look at her. At her face. Was Jared right? Was I really self hating? I was really so superficial? Feeling horrible I knew he was right to an extent. I had always known that part of Bella`s appeal was that she was so different to the girls here but that didn`t mean I looked down on them!

Sonia was undeniably native. Hair so black that it had a blue shine to it was pulled off her face and into a pony tail revealing a slender neck and perfect jaw line. I couldn`t help but compare her to Bella. Where Bella`s skin was white as milk, Sonia`s was brown sugar. Where Bella`s face was heart shaped, Sonia`s was oval. Where Bella`s nose was small and thin, Sonia`s wasn`t big but it was strong, rather greek shaped. Where Bella`s mouth was full and lusicious, Sonia`s was bow shaped and a peachy color. I wanted to know how those lips tasted... Sonia was gorgeous...more than Bella. Her high cheekbones looked so delicate yet overall, she looked strong. But her eyes...her eyes were magnificent. So dark they were almost black, almond shaped to the point of being almost asian looking and framed by long inky black eye lashes. I had never in my life seen eyes as capturing as hers. They were like two bottomless pools, inviting, tempting.

How was I so sure I didn`t want her? I sure as hell liked what I saw...but was that reason good enough? I loved Bella. I loved everything about her. I wanted her to be mine and I was pretty sure she wanted me too. It was the Cullen freak brainwashing her. Controlling her. She would be so much happier with me. I could give her everything she wanted. I had to steel myself against Sonia. Against her appeal. So what she was my soul mate? If I`d had never phased then I would never have known. She doesn`t need to know... if she doesn`t like me then I wouldn`t have to do anything in regards to her.

I took one last look at her before I headed home. She looked grim. Like something was bothering her. The imprint feeling. She doesn`t understand. Not yet.

**Remember to review. I need to know if you are liking this so I can know if I should continue or leave it there. Besos.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four! Hope you like and thanks so much for your reviews. Jake may seem like a douche in love will tear us apart but... I love him all the same (well, as much as you can love a fictional character.)**

******Thanks so much for reading and remember to tell me if you like. The next chapter of Sonia`s story will be up tomorrow so watch out. **

"Hey Jake!" I was actually startled. Fucking thinking about my imprint and Bella had seriously made me lose touch with my super senses. I was about a couple of feet from my front door. Listening, I could hear my dads snores, which thankfully meant that he was asleep.

"What are you doing here Ciara?" I asked, looking around for her car. She must have walked here.

"Waiting for you. I`ve decided to forgive you." She informed me, like she was the queen and imparting me with her favor. Snorting, I rolled my eyes.

"Gosh that`s great." I said sarcastically, shaking my head at her.

"You know..." She drawled, stepping in closer to me and running her finger down my chest. In the moon light I could see her overly made up face. She did absolutely nothing for me. "I`ve always wanted to see what is underneath that t-shirt."

"Oh yeah?" I whispered down at her. Suddenly angry at the world I wanted to show everyone how much Sonia doesn`t mean to me. I pulled Ciara into me, wrapping my arms around her small frame. Hearing her heart beat faster I suddenly felt horrible but I buried that emotion as well as I could.

"Yeah..." She breathed, reaching her hand down into my pants. No use... I couldn`t even think of her that way. After a while I just pushed her away. "What`s up Jacob? You gay or something?" She sounded hurt underneath her biting insult.

"Nah baby...I`m just tired. How abouts me and you get together some other time?" Why did I even say that? Eurgghhh Jacob! Her face lit up considerably.

"Sure Jake...We can have a good time together you know." She winked at me before sauntering off into the night. Ah crap! I actually felt disgusted with myself.

Collapsing on my bed I groaned in frustration. Who the fuck was I kidding? I wanted Sonia. I had an controllable desire to claim her as my own. My mate. She was the one who should be fucking touching my dick. The thoughts of that made me stir happily. How would that feel? Trying to shake the feeling I thought about Bella. Replacing her naked image (or what I thought she looked like naked) for Sonia`s I took care of myself. It wasn`t working though...Sonia`s face...her body...what I had seen of her tonight kept popping up and pushing Bella out of the picture.

Fuck it! Let me have my little fantasy. Sonia naked, on her knees blowing me like in one of the pornos I used to watch with Quil and Embry. Oh yeah... I worked my hand furiously over my dick...imagining her on her back...pounding her until she screamed... ahh sweet release...

A bit out of breath I cleaned myself up. My mind reeling from that sudden rush of pleasure and emotions that the mere thought of my imprint could produce I knew that the real thing would be finitely better than any virgin fantasy I could conjure up. I hadn`t even talked to her and in my head I was already screwing her and impregnating her. Paul was right...she would run a mile if she ever knew...

Getting to school a bit early, I waited anxiously beside Quil`s locker, which was opposite Sonia`s. Torn between wanting to ignore her and wanting to see her I was a nervous wreck. Quil was talking to me again, giving me advice on just to talk to her. Embry told me not to be heavy. Whatever they told me went in one ear and out the other. I just wanted to look at her. I wanted to know she was safe. Knowing she was only a couple of minutes away I braced myself. I could smell her...a smell so unique that it felt it was made for my nose only. A heady mixture of her own sweet smell, shampoo and shower gel. Over all a smell I wanted to taste and sniff like a dog.

"Here she comes. Act normally." Embry instructed, leaning against the locker casually. Quil followed suit but sniggered a little.

I watched as my imprint walked purposely to her locker, not looking around or talking to anyone. She looked tired and utterly sexy. A pale lemon sweater clung to her body like a second skin, showing how tiny her waist was and how flat her stomach was. Her perfect tea cup sized breasts formed two perfect bumps that I wanted so bad to feel...

Then I knew she knew someone was watching her. Her body language said it all. She stiffened and turned her head a little but didn`t look around. She didn`t seek me out...and that made me kinda pissed.

"Just go talk to her!" Quil nudged me. I couldn`t move though. "Take your chance!"

I could only look on as another guy approached her. Oliver Smith. Stoner, hipster and general king of cool at La Push high. According to Paul, the guy got laid more times than pre-Kim Jared. What did he want with my imprint? Kill him Jacob...

"`Sup Sonz." He greeted her, taking her in. They bumped knuckles in a salute to each other.

"Oliver my love, I like the coat." My love? Is he like her boyfriend or something? Kill...Kill him...

"You like the coat is the first thing you say to me? Yeah I like the coat too. Why are you dressed up?" He asked her. Sonia`s face looked a bit fearful but she composed herself almost instantly. I thought she looked lovely.

"I`m not dressed up." She argued, pulling down the hem of her sweater some more.

"You`re wearing make-up." He accused. Was she? I didn`t really notice. Her eyes looked darker maybe, her lips shinier.

"I wear make-up all the time."

"But not like this."

"Like what?"

"Forget it Sonia. You look...nice."

"Just nice?"

They stared each other down. Feeling totally jealous of their easy friendship and relationship I felt the anger brewing up inside of me. How the fuck was it fair that I had to think and worry over her constantly and she could have it so easy? If she was feeling it...if she was thinking about me wouldn`t she be seeking me out too? And there she was, flirting with some bean pole jackass in girls jeans...

"You always look nice, even when you look like shit. You look..I dunno..pretty." He complimented her, which made her smile, which made me growl faintly.

"Cool it Jake! They are just friends." Embry whispered.

"Thanks. You do too. So what`s the gossip. Who slept with who? Who cheating on who?" She asked, getting some books out of her locker.

"Rumor has it that Ciara Harris slept with Jacob Black."

"What?" Quil whispered. "Seriously?" He asked me. Ahh crap.

"Jake dude? You didn`t, did you?" Embry asked me wide eyed.

"No!" I whispered furiously, still watching Sonia. She looked shocked...a bit hurt. Maybe she was feeling this. Steady yourself Jacob! Remember who you want. You want Bella. I couldn`t help feeling angry though. Fucking Ciara shouting her mouth off. Fucking Sonia looking all hot standing there talking to some asshole! I hated her at this moment. I hated her because I wanted her so much!

"You okay?" He asked her, a bit worried.

"Yeah..Yeah I`m fine. Just a shock to the system you know. I thought Jacob had some standards." She laughed a little, sounding like she didn`t care. How dare she even presume to know me! How dare she make fun of me like that! I saw Ollie take a sweeping look around the hall before his eyes rested on me. He looked confused for a minute, his eyes flickering to Sonia before smirking at me.

"So yeah, that`s the only interesting thing that`s happened since you`ve been gone. Say Sonia, why is Jacob Black looking at you like you did something bad to him?" Ollie whispered in her ear. The smirk grew bigger as Sonia whipped her head up from her school bag and looked over at me. Her face was impassive but her eyes... so black...so bold...held mine without a trace of shyness or resistance. I saw anger burn in them after a while. Shit...I still looked angry didn`t I? Well I was angry. Let her see what I can give her...let her see all she would ever get from me!

Totally shocking me into forgetting my anger at her, she flipped me off. Her face was scornful and haughty. Fucking bitch! Now I remembered why I wanted Bella. Sonia was nothing but some skanky trouble maker. I didn`t want her! I didn`t want her!

"Holy shit." Quil mumbled, sounding a tiny bit impressed. I sure as hell wasn`t.

"Okay Sonia. What the fuck was that? You just flipped off the future chief of the tribe. What happened? Did you guys hook up or something?" Ollie asked her, laughing as she turned to leave.

"NO! He`s just...I dunno. Honestly." She mumbled, suddenly sounding so unsure.

"Do you like him." He asked her seriously. I watched as her back stiffened. Does she like me? I felt hope inflate my heart a little but burst as that douche dared to put his hands on what was mine! He was touching my imprint! He was putting her into a freakin head lock!

Feeling a black fury as he tickled her waist, feeling a murderous rage as she giggled enjoying it... I was going to phase right here...I was going to kill him. Feeling my entire self become consumed with this red hot animal ferocity I began to shake...

"Uh gross. Don`t tell me you`ve joined the Jacob Black fanclub. Oh man Sonia. I thought you were cool." He taunted her. I reached boiling point as I saw him touch the smooth brown skin of her abdomen. Leaping across the hall in light speed I ripped the fucker off my imprint. I wanted to crush him...I wanted to rip his fucking face off...

"Touch her again and I`ll kill you." I growled in his face. Ha! The sleeze actually thought he could beat me up? Ollie proceeded to yell a stream of curses at me, pummeling all he could reach. Did he think he had a chance? Give it your best shot Ollie...you won`t hurt me...but I`ll fucking hurt you...

"Leave him alone you fucking lunatic." I was vaguely aware of Sonia jumping on my back and trying to get me to back off. The thoughts of phasing so near her, of not being able to control myself around her, threw cold water over most of my rage. Still shaking, I let Embry pull me off the little twerp.

"Are you okay?" Sonia asked Ollie, her voice full of concern. What about me? I was the one defending your honor! Yeah...go ahead and protect your little boyfriend. Ollie angrily brushed her hand away and got up.

"I`m fine. Just leave it!" He gave me a hard, venomous look before stalking off. Sonia watched him disappear before slowly rounding on me. She looked like a storm ready to explode. She held my own stare unflinchingly, utterly without fear.

"What the hell is your problem?" She whispered up at me. She only came up to my chin but at this moment she made me feel so small. I stared down at her, channelling all the rage I was feeling at her. No one...no one makes me feel this way. Especially not her.

"You are my fucking problem." Make her hate you Jacob. Push her away. You can do it now. You can solve this problem once and for all.

"What did I ever do to you?"

"Exist!" I hissed down at her, right into her face. Satisfied at the look of horror in her eyes I turned and walked away. Hearing her heart beating faster I was overcome with guilt. I didn`t really mean it but... if it makes her hate me... then so be it. I wasn`t strong enough to stay away from her, she would have to be the one to stay away from me.

Not wanting to be in school anymore I left. I should really stop doing that. The admin was starting to get suspicious. There is only so many times I could get my dad to fake a medical emergency.

Running into the forest I let go all of all my emotions. Phasing quickly I let roar. I had fucked up...so so much. I had to do it though! My life was no life to get an innocent girl involved in. I was protecting her! If she knew she would thank me. Then what was with this feeling of loss? Today...I could have taken the chance to befriend her...I could have started us on the road to happiness... I could have forgotten about Bella and just...NO! Bella needs me. She needs someone looking out for her! I can`t let her down. Sonia is safe. She is happy (I think). She doesn`t need me.

My howl was full of pain, grief and fury. The aching in my chest was because I knew I had hurt her... she did feel it. I was happy and at the same time sad about it. It seemed to me now that there was no way out of this. I would have to think of something to do...how to handle this. It was only a matter of time before I snapped. I didn`t want to wolf out in front of her...but if I told her would she believe me? Would she accept me?

Thinking about the other imprints made me depressed. The only ones who had it really easy was Jared and Kim, from the very beginning. The others all had their ups and downs but came through in the end. Thinking about it, me and Sonia should have it easy. But I was in love with someone else and I wasn`t about to give that up anytime soon.

I needed to see Bella badly. She would listen to me. I wouldn`t tell her about the imprint. Not just yet. I needed some normality with her before I brought that up. All in all I just longed for peace. Peace of mind and a peaceful life. Bella was that for me. She was like the summertime. When everything is easy, relaxed. When you don`t have to work too hard and have no school.

But Sonia...imprinting on her had awoken something else inside of me. Something wanting to claw it`s way out. Something so powerful that it was terrifying as fuck. She was like a storm. Something so elemental that it threatened to destroy everything I thought I was. She wasn`t my sweet little Bella, she was nothing like her. In the hall I got just a taste of the potential Sonia had to offer. It mystified me, it stunned me, it attracted me and over all it frightened me.

**Remember to review. I want to know if I should take this farther. Besos.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five. Hope you guys enjoy! I like writing from Jacob`s POV. It`s something different and for me enjoyable. Thanks for all your lovely reviews from the last chapter. You guys are great for reading this. **

******Anyways, happy reading and remember to tell me what you think.**

Okay so I`m the worlds biggest douche. Looks like Leah was right. Sonia is no Bella. After my psycho blow up in the hall two days ago she forbade me from talking to her and her friends or even looking at her. Fine by me, well not really. I liked looking at her. It was warming. She gave off such energy that it was crazy as hell. It was seductive, it drew me closer to her. It made me want more.

So it was Friday, let me see what`s in my oh so full social calendar. Oh right, fuck all. Patrol, listen to the others thoughts. Get a replay of Jared and Kim`s sexual escapades. See Paul`s creepy fantasies about Rachel. Urrghhh shudder. I`m going to ask Sam to put me on a different schedule to him.

Looking over at Sonia in the cafeteria I ached with longing. There she was, looking all pretty and happy, laughing and goofing away with her friends, and I was stuck here, watching my pack brothers shovel down mystery meat like it was their last meal or something. She had such a pretty smile. It made her look innocent, sweet. Not like that sarcastic smirk she wears when she looks at me. I hate that smirk. I wanted her to smile at me but it doesn`t look like she`ll be doing that any time soon. I made my bed, now I have to lie in it. Gobbling down my lunch moodily I looked over at her again. She was hugging Bernie and smiling for a photo that Ollie was taking. I fucking hate Ollie. Fucking hipster loser. Who wears a trilby hat to school? Seriously?

Shit she`s spotted me. Look away Jacob! Look away! I didn`t though. Her smile faltered on her perfect mouth before setting into a hard grim line. She didn`t look away though. Was she going to call me out? Was she going to flip me off again? No, her eyes were questioning. Asking me why the hell was I being so weird. Asking me what is happening. If I told you Sonia, you will hate me. She broke off and looked at something Chris was showing her from a book. Don`t listen in Jacob. Don`t listen in. It`s not fair to her. You`re not Edward. You are not a stalker.

"You should try and talk to her Jake." Paul suggested, looking wistfully over at his old group of friends.

"She`ll be happier this way." I said, peeling an orange.

"You don`t even know her so how can you say that?" Paul retorted, devouring an entire Mars bar in one go.

"She`s really nice. Sonia`s like a Kinder egg. One you break through the hard shell you get a fun surprise inside. She`s cool." Paul said gently. "Gain her trust and she`ll be loyal to you forever, unlike Smella."

"Her names Bella!"

"Whatever, she stinks so much of leech it hurts." The others nodded in agreement. It was true. Bella stank of leech.

"Just leave it be Paul. Even if I wanted to talk to Sonia now I don`t think she`ll hear me out."

"That might be true." Paul agreed seriously. What? Really? That thought filled me with dread as I took another look at her direction. Ollie caught my eye and whispered something over to Sonia.

"He`s looking at you again." He said. I heard my imprints heartbeat start to quicken.

"Really?...I mean...let him look away." She said with boredom. Like she didn`t care or something. Stop being such a wuss Jacob. This is what you want!

"He`s wants to deflower you Sonia." Bernie teased. I could see her cheeks flame up. She was a virgin? Huh... that`s...unexpected. I wondered if it was true.

"Shut up. I`m not giving it up to Black. No way in hell." She quipped, sounding disgusted. I growled loudly at that.

"Cool it Jake!" Quil warned.

"Yeah, stop listening in." Embry said.

"She gets like that when she`s in defense mode." Paul informed us. "Chances are she has been thinking about fucking you. She`s embarrassed that the others brought it up."

"Ya think?" I asked a little too enthusiastically. Paul snorted.

"So you do care what she thinks huh?"

"Shut it Paul!"

"Ooohhhhhh." Paul laughed at me.

"I think you should play it cool. Sonia isn`t afraid of you so stop trying to get her to run away. If you really don`t want her, lay it out straight. Tell her how it is and let her come to her own decision. It`s not fair on her the way you are going about it now." Embry said.

"What if I tell her and she freaks out?"

"Then she freaks out. She doesn`t want anything to do with you and you get Bella. In fact...that`s the perfect scenario for you. She knows, she gets grossed out, and you get Smella..I mean Bella." Embry concluded. I didn`t like this. It was the perfect solution but it felt so wrong. My eyes wandered back to Sonia again. Her other friends were all chatting away but she remained quiet, her eyes glued to some undefined spot in the cafeteria. What was she thinking about? Was it me? Her gaze shifted and I was knocked out again. The way her eyes held my own...the promises of love and happiness and strength that she offered...it was terrifying because it was too much to lose. I had to protect myself didn`t I? What if we got together? What if I fell head over heels for her and she was snatched away from me? Like my mom was... that would be too much to bear.

Maybe I was being selfish. Maybe I was being pig headed but I knew this was for the best. For her as well as me. She would find someone else...however painful that would be for me I would let her go. And I had Bella. Being honest I was safe in the fact that I knew she loved me, not as much as her leech but she loved me none the less. And I loved her. Our love wasn`t one that took over me, like my potential love for Sonia could. It was one that I could control in a way. A love far removed from all the craziness going on in my life.

Bella needs me. I owe it to her to see her safe. Alive! My love was the only thing keeping her heart beating now. If I submitted to Sonia`s magnetic pull over me then Bella`s soul would be lost forever. Maybe this was all some sort of test the Great Spirit has set for me. Could I resist Sonia and save Bella? Looking deep down within myself I knew that I would fail. It was only a matter of time before I snapped. I am only seventeen! Why is this shit happening to me?

* * *

"So Jake. What`s new in your life? I feel like we haven`t seen each other in like forever." Bella said quietly to me as we took a walk down the boardwalk in Port Angeles.

"Nothing much. Same old same old." I laughed humorlessly. What a fucking lie! I`ve imprinted! I found my soul mate. Neat huh Bells?

"How`s the pack?"

"They`re fine. They want to know when you are coming over to La Push to see them." Another lie but if it makes her smile then...

"I miss La Push. I want to go over so bad." She said wistfully. I took her hand. In the past in would have sent my heart racing but now...I shook that feeling.

"Then why don`t you? Eddie boy not letting you out of his sight?"

"Don`t be like that Jake! You know Edward is only concerned about my safety."

"Nothing bad can happen to you in La Push Bells."

"I know but...I don`t want to make him upset."

"Cue abusive boyfriend behavior number..."

"Jake!" She pouted, coming to a stop but not letting go of my hand.

"Sorry `kay!"

"Apology accepted. So, how`s the bike?"

"Still awesome. You could come down one day and we can ride it together?" I offered. She smiled coyly and looked pleased. I was glad to see a smile on her face.

"Sounds good. We just have to keep it a secret from Charlie." She giggled.

"I won`t tell. My lips are sealed." I pretended to zip my lips which made her smile even wider. I really did love her. She was so sweet, so innocent, a lamb being seduced by a lion. She needed me to protect her from him. I knew I was doing the right thing when I looked into her big trusting brown eyes.

"You`re the best Jake!"

"I know I am. So good of you to realize that."

"Ha ha. So, what you wanna do? Go to the movies? Get a bite to eat?" She asked sweetly.

"Both? The night is young and so are we." I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into me. Then...what is with this feeling of terror? It`s not mine... Shaking my head I looked down at Bella, trying to dislodge the feeling. That was so fucking strange, and frightening.

"You are so warm Jake, I just want to snuggle into you." She purred, giving me shivers of pleasure. Bet she doesn`t get that from her leech...I held her closer as we rounded a corner.

WHAT. THE. FUCK! What is... Is that Edward? Standing there with Sonia? My Sonia? I`ll kill him...I`ll fucking kill him! Rip him to shreds then burn him!

Sonia...she looks so terrified standing there beside him. It`s okay Sonia...I`m here, he won`t hurt you. I`ll never let him. Scanning her body for any sign of hurt I breathed a sigh of relief. Looking as perfect as ever clad in what looked like an outfit borrowed from Fame she backed away from Edward a little.

"Edward!" Bella yelled. Sonia looked over at us, relief flooded her face. She was obviously terrified before. I growled lowly.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, Furious at Edward and angry that I had failed to keep Sonia safe. See! I don`t deserve her! I let a fucking leech get near her!

"Is that question for me or for Sonia?" The Emo fucker asked me.

"For Sonia. What are you doing here?" Locking eyes with Sonia I tried to read her for any sign of distress. Shit, I didn`t mean to make my voice so hard, but I couldn`t help it. I was so fucking beyond pissed that I could phase at any minute.

"What business is it of yours asshole?" Urrghhh! Why is it when I am trying to come to her aid that she gets so defensive.

"Whatever Sonia, just go home now. This isn`t the place for you right now." Just go home Sonia! Just go and don`t look back. I put as much dismissal into my voice as I could. She needs to get the picture that I`m no good.

"You shouldn`t speak to her like that Jacob. If she is who she unmistakably is to you then you better be nicer. You are hurting her." He just had to say that didn`t he? There`s another reason for me to kill him. I`ll add it to my list.

"She is nothing to me!" I spat, that lie sure did hurt. It hurt because I felt her hurting. I saw Sonia`s face drop a little. I`m sorry, I`m so sorry but you need to understand!

"Liar." Edward said. Just shut up already!

"I love Bella!" I proclaimed loudly and forcefully. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sonia getting her keys out of her pocket and heading towards her shitty old Eagle Medallion.

"You love Sonia Jacob. No bother denying it. It won`t go away, no matter how hard you fight it." Mind reading cock sucker! I screamed at him in my head. Sonia stopped and hesitated, she didn`t look back though her heart started racing and her breathing quickened. Please Sonia...just go home. I`ll tell you but not here, not now.

"Jake? What`s going on? Who is that girl? Did you...you imprint?" Bella asked me, tugging at my hand to get my attention. Shit! What do I say to that? Sonia looked around, not at me though, at Bella again. Like she was sizing up her competition whether she knew it or not.

"I...Bella...I love you! Understand that. Sonia means nothing to me." Again feeling that horrible ache in my chest I hurt Sonia again.

"But Jake..."

"But nothing Bella! You are my girlfriend. Jacob needs to understand that. You need to let him go."

"You don`t understand Edward!"

I watched Sonia walk to her car angrily and once inside slam the door shut. Her engine wouldn`t start and I knew by the look on her face that she was getting more and more frustrated. Eventually it started, I would have to take a look at that engine, I`m not going to let her drive around in that hunk of junk.

Seeing her drive off like that filled me with regret. I would check up on her tonight. She that she`s okay. It`s the least I could do, or the most, I don`t fucking know anymore.

"The girl you just saw Bella, that was Jacob`s imprint. Looks like it finally happened." Edward said, coming towards us. Bella dropped my hand and took his.

"Her?" Bella asked shocked. I got annoyed at her.

"Yes her Bella. What were you expecting?" I asked snarkely. Nothing ever goes my way does it?

"I dunno, just, she seems kinda mean." Bella replied. Then she started to cry a little. "You deserve the best Jacob. I have a feeling...that she isn`t it you know?"

"That`s not for you to decide love." Edward said soothingly. "Being inside her head..." I stared at Edward, how dare he violate her like that. "...she isn`t that mean, she seems quite interesting actually." It took all my self control to stop myself from phasing right there. How dare Edward read Sonia`s mind! Study her thoughts like she was some fucking specimen in a laboratory. She`s a person! A human!

"Edward!" Bella shouted, looking totally pissed. By now, like Sonia, I`ve had enough.

"See you later Bella." I called over my shoulder as I set into a jog towards my own car.

"Jacob wait!" She called after me. No, I`m not waiting. I can`t anymore.

**Remember to review. It makes the story better. I want to know if I should write more or not. Besos.**


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